NOT A JOKE: Democrat Candidate Pepper-Sprays Himself for Gun Control

When I first saw this story come across the wire, I was sure it was from The Onion, Clickhole, or Babylon Bee. A candidate pepper-spraying himself for gun control? No. Not possible anyone, even a Democrat hoping to go viral, is stupid enough to do such a thing. At least his staff would step in and tell him “This idea you have, don’t do it. You’ll look like an idiot, bloggers will mock you, memes will be made, you’ll be relegated to the bad joke section of talk shows. Please reconsider.” But I was wrong.

Levi Tillemann, a progressive candidate running for a House seat this year, released an ad last week that he hopes will shine a light on alternative approaches to gun control in schools and other soft-target areas.

“I’m calling on Congress to stop talking past each other and try something new,” he says in the video. “Empower schools and teachers with non-lethal self-defense tools, like this can of pepper spray.”

Mr. Tillemann likely thinks what he’s demonstrating is “putting his money where his eye holes used to be.” Showing everyone pepper spray is a better deterrent against an active school shooter than your English teacher packing a Walther PPS. He’s showing the internet, for the rest of time, pepper spray in the eyes causes all the ouchies. Therefore we should arm teachers with spray juice. Not guns. I guess it’s an improvement from throwing rocks. Read School Arms Students with Rocks to Combat School Shooters.

Pepper spray is no picnic lemonade. Okay? Okay. I personally don’t have a problem arming teachers with pepper spray. Nor do I take issue with teachers who want to pack heat to actually pack heat beyond spicy aerosol.

Here’s where my practical mind kicks in: police officers do not draw pepper spray on gunmen. Yet officers are armed with pepper spray. Why don’t cops drop a gunman with pepper spray if pepper spray is the better way to fight? That’s a rhetorical question, obviously. Bullets travel faster than spice paste. Bullets drop a bad guy better than chemicals. If you hit a bad guy with a bullet in the arm, you’ve hurt him more than if you ruin his best shirt with pepper spray.

This isn’t hard. What is hard is refraining from laughing as this Democrat blinds himself for his own campaign.

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